l e f t o f f

l e f t o n

i am overwhelmed by all the mail—thank you for the massive outpouring of support. don’t worry, leftoff will be back.

after we win ohio.

gobama

one small gaffe for woman, one giant trainwreck for womankind.

let me get this straight.

not only is she not allowed to make her own statements, but now she can’t RETRACT them herself, either?

well, i guess it’s true that you and mccain are walking the earth at the same time

but if that’s not the best counterargument to intelligent design, i don’t know what is.

oh, good. no need to waste a friday night in front of the tv, then.

wait a minute! she was recognized by WHO’S WHO? why didn’t they say so from the beginning?!

i take it all back about the unqualified thing.

[starts 50 seconds in]

our next-door neighbors are foreign countries. they’re in the state that i’m the executive officer of.

no, not a sarcastic leftoff headline. a direct quote:

bill clinton: “don’t overly parse my incessant praise of john mccain”

hey bubba! if you can’t say something mean, DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.

seriously. we all saw the lowball crap you pulled during the primary, so don’t pretend you’re incapable of actually criticizing your opponent. or do you not consider john mccain your opponent? because somehow i think YOU’D BE DOING SOMETHING FOR THE PARTY IF YOUR WIFE WERE RUNNING.

okay, now this time WE SWEAR we’re telling you the truth. really.

Rick Davis “left” his lobbying firm, by which we mean he is “not affiliated” with it anymore, by which we mean he is still its “treasurer.”

hi barack, it’s john. yeah, so we were thinking we could have OUR debate on October 2nd, and then how about the VP debate on November 5? Does that work for you guys? I mean, this has to be a bipartisan effort, I’ve been saying all along. It’s time to rise above politics.

would this, um, count as cutting and running? or just blinking.

“it’s time for both parties to come together and solve my problem”

just because mccain’s ready to lead DOES NOT mean he’s ready to debate

McCain to Palin: You’re Not The Only One Who Can Break The Law Before We’re Elected

even their attempt to attempt to obstruct justice in Alaska turns out to be illegal.

[BOTTOM LINE FOR NON-LAWYERS: the McCain campaign sent a NY lawyer to Alaska to “advise” Palin’s personal lawyer in Troopergate, which the NY lawyer is now doing, which is a criminal offense, because the NY lawyer isn’t licensed in Alaska.]

finally!

i’m sorry, are you FUCKING KIDDING ME.

the incumbent party’s polls are lower than any incumbent party in the history of polls.

the financial crisis has woken the public up to the predictable result of rampant deregulation.

offshore drilling will not affect the price of crude oil for years, and then only marginally at best.

AND THE GODDAMN DEMOCRATIC “LEADERSHIP” CAPITULATES AGAIN, THIS TIME TO REPUBLICAN DEMANDS FOR OFFSHORE DRILLING?!

THE ONLY LEVERAGE REPUBLICANS HAVE LEFT IS THE INABILITY OF DEMOCRATS TO FIGHT. OF WHICH THERE IS APPARENTLY A LOT.